My Love Dare

Brandon saved my life tonight.

2009-05-01T19:03:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. Big, small, it doesn't matter to me.. they are all the same. I have my husband spray and spray and spray the house to make CERTAIN I will never come face to face with a spider. Sometimes one or two slip through the major barrier of pesticide we have. If I could, I would walk around with the con-cop-tion strapped to my back and a wand in my hand to blast those suckers away. I honestly think that spiders are from the devil. They are evil scary little suckers! Tonight, there was a HUGE spider crawling on my kitchen counter as I was trying to cook dinner. The type of spider you would run into if you were out in a field.. the brown big scary looking kind.. you know what I am talking about?? I think they call them wolf spders.... well...Brandon so calmly walked over and without saying a word killed that sucker! I honestly believe the spider was wanting to eat my face off... I swear I could hear a hiss come from the spider as my husband wrestled him to the ground and saved my life. Honey, thank you for saving my life!

ATP

2009-04-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

Today Brandon is in Tulsa Oklahoma taking his ATP test. It begins at 10:00 am and is a 3 hour test. I am certain he will pass with flying colors. I cannot express how proud I am of my husband to taking the final step in his career. This will open so many doors for you love.

Us

2009-03-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

Every where we go we always take a picture like this. I would imagine we have about 50 pics of this same pose -- just one of those things we have always done!

My sweet husband.

2009-03-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we celebrated my husbands 36 years of life. His son was with us so we went all out. Snack foods, cookie cake, fruit, whatever the kiddos wanted. I went to the store and got all the fixings - including the candles for the cake. After we were finshed with our feast of nothing but the bad carbs..my husband looks at me and asks... what year was I born.. I told him, he said.. then that would make me how old??? I said.. 36. Look at the candles!

Joshua is singing so loud... can you tell??

Jon-Collin thinks he is at a rock concert.

Those boys crack me up!

This is copied from my other blog.

In Celebration of your Birthday Honey.......

I love your laugh and how you get so easily tickled and you laugh until you cry.

I love the way you have a level head - but NEVER take life too seriously.

I love the way you charish your family time, and make the best of it.

I love the way you still act childish at times, it sets the tone for our children to be silly too.

I love the way you smell when I cuddle up next to you in bed.

I love the stepdad you have become to my son, he looks up to you and so do I.

I love the way you still allow Joshua to sit on your lap like he did when he was a small boy.

I love the way you come home from work, and find me first to give me a hug.

I love the way that you call every time you fly just to keep my mind at ease.

I love our code words, silly sayings and private jokes that no one else knows.

I love the way you play basketball with our boys and slam dunk, and trash talk them like you are their age again.

I love your loving heart, and the way you still tear up speaking about difficult things, or watching intervention.

I love you.. just the way you are.

finished my book

2009-03-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

I have finished my book, I didnt blog about it because it got very personal. I thought I would now use this blog to encourage my husband. And type all the ways he enlightens my life.

My wedding day... July 11, 2002

2009-02-03T17:53:00.000-08:00

I thought I would post a couple of pictures of mine and Brandons

wedding day 6 years ago.. gosh we look YOUNG! That was the best day of my life!

Day 10 - unconditional love

2009-02-02T06:27:00.000-08:00

Day 10 was on Friday.. so I have 3 days of blogging to catch up on... but I will start with this one... I learned that there are three types of love. Phileo -Friendship, eros - sexual, then there is agape love - sickness and in health kinda love... for richer or for poorer kinda love, for better or worse kinda love. The kind of love that is true love. The kind of love that God loves us with. That is what I want for me and my husband. I must say... though.. I am only 1/4 through this book and I have seen a HUGE difference in my home. There is a calmness - that stems all the way through to everyone. I have even seen my son taking HUGE steps in watching his attitude. Brandon is fabulious and I see him smiling more. There is more laughter - less yelling, more hugs, less door slamming, there is more talking things through and explaining - less claming up. It is totally amazing what happens when you let go and let God handle things completely instead of trying to sort it all out yourself.

For my love dare, I was to do something that proves that my love is based on my choice and nothing else... something that I dont normally do. examples..wash the car, clean the kitchen, fold laundry..... SO... (dont laugh) I decided that I would .....put my check in the bank instead of carrying it around with me for 4 days and him finally asking where it was so he can do it. I texted him when I did it.. he was SHOCKED! hahahahaha...

He who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him .. Psalm 32:10

Day 9 - Love Makes Good impressions...

2009-01-30T09:58:00.000-08:00

.... Greet one another with a kiss of love .. 1Peter 5:14

When I first started reading this chapter I thought.. FINALLY and easy day..something that comes natural to me.... then I kept on reading........ OK........not as easy as I thought. I think back to all the times I was mad at my husband, saw his car pull up in the driveway and on purpose went to the bedroom so I wouldn't have to see him when he first came in the door. HOW RUDE that is! As I read, I thought back to the days when he and I first met, how I would wait by the door for him to come over, and be so sad when it was time for him to go. I remember the anticipation of waiting and then the excitement when he got there... I still have those same butterflies when I see him come home from work to this day - but when I am mad at him I don't treat him like I do.

The chapter spoke of the prodigal son, and how the father saw his son from a long distance and ran to him and embraced him and kissed him, even though the son had done wrong. That is what I need to do for my husband! Make him feel as though he has self worth! Make him feel welcome and loved in our home.

My love dare is to greet my husband with the love and enthusiasm that I feel for him, even when I am mad at him! Because I do love my husband and a greeting and the way I speak to him is so important in making him feel loved.

Day 8 - love is not jealous

2009-01-28T14:23:00.001-08:00

When I saw the title to this chapter I thought to myself oh brother... this is where my heart needs the most work. But I was surprised as to what it really spoke about -- something I have never really considered jealousy I do almost daily. Jealousy also comes in the form of selfishness. Such as Brandon getting to do things that I dont get to do - go places and do things I am not invited to do. I didnt realize that was a form of jealousy that I need to remove from my heart. I have more work in this area than I orginally thought! On a positive note, I get to BURN my negative list that I created of my husband!!! Thank goodness I didnt have to share that dark side of my heart with him! I vow to be my husbands biggest cheerleader and fan.

Love believes the best

2009-01-27T14:43:00.000-08:00

WOW.. what an amazing chapter. For my love dare I was asked to make two lists... one write all the possitive things about my spouse and one list of all the negative things. PLEASE someone out there tell me that your negative list was as long as mine! I am starting to feel BAD about that. I have finally had a shift in my thinking! Which I am totally thanking God for. I had a problem with judging my husband... now I am looking within. I won't list any of the bad things but I will make a short list off all the good aspects of my husband.
1. He is a very good listener
2. He is a hard worker
3. He has a kind heart
4. He puts others before himself
5. He is a great step dad to my son
6. He is very loving towards me when I am angry or hurt
7. He is thoughtful
8. He is my best friend!

Love is not irritable...

2009-01-21T17:38:00.000-08:00

I learned from this chapter something that I havent ever thought of before...Selfishness wears many hats such as lust, bitterness, greed and pride. I also learned that I need to learn to balance my life better so that the stresses of life do not cause me to get irritable. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34. The book asks me to make a list on areas where I need to add margin to my schedule. I suppose I could get up earlier..thats going to be hard for me! I could give up cubscouts too. That is a thing that takes ALOT of my time. Something I will seriously need to think about.

Love is not Rude...

2009-01-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

On this excerise I was to ask my husband 3 things that irriate him that I do.... without attacking him or justifying my behavior.... so I decided to wait unitl the most opportune time. We get ready for bed and are watching TV and discussing all the events of the day and I turn to him so loveingly and say...

Me - You know I am reading that book Love Dare
Him - O Brother!
Me - Well, I am needing to know 3 things that I do that Irritate you.
Him - why dont you tell me 3 things that irritate you..
Me - Because I am working on myself not you - silly.
Him- Well, in that case...
1. Your DRIVING
2. The way you hit your snooze 5 times before getting out of bed
3. and did I mention YOUR DRIVING...

-- Back to re-read Chapter one!

Love is not selfish.. and Love is thoughtful..

2009-01-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

I purchased a card, a cinn. roll and a rose and left it on my husbands desk at work while he wasnt there. It was a nice suprise for him when he got back from doing all his running around for his boss.

I am learning through these excersises that maybe I am not doing exactly what I THOUGHT I was doing for my husband. I am starting to see within myself and how I am expecting him to do things and be a certain way for me, but I am not returning that for him.

Day one - DO over... Love is patient

2009-01-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

Holding my tounge hasnt been my best quality -- as I have gotten older I have seen that not everyone wants or needs my opinion as I orginally felt they did as when I was younger. This holds true to my husband. Today is a "trying" time between the two of us, and I feel that the way to best handle a few things is to be patient and QUIET! Listening is not easy when you want to blurt out WHATEVER you MORON! But I didnt do that today... Instead I shut my mouth and listened... love is patient is what I kept saying in my head... and patience is HARD at times. A practice I need more of!

DO OVER..

2009-01-14T17:58:00.000-08:00

I have failed at this love dare terribly... so I am calling a DO OVER.. starting tomorrow I am starting completely over.

Day Three -- Love is not selfish

2008-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

As I read day three I wonder -- is this book suppose to help me love my husband better or make me feel like a crappy wife. The more I look deep within myself the more I dont like what I see. I must be very selfish. The third love dare is -- Along with restraining from negative comments, I am to buy my husband something that says.. "I am thinking of you." ... uh.. have you met my husband? He doesnt like spending money at all! HAHAHA .. I will buy something small and leave it on his desk tomorrow..... If anyone reading this has read this book I would like to know if you are having a hard time reading the chapters and judging your husband? What I mean is each day.. I have had to re-read the book twice because the first time was not in the right spirit. I look for the things my husband has to work on rather than what I need to. I can get my thoughts pulled back in to where they need to be -- I just wondered if I was the only one judging my husband like that.

Day two - Kindness - Love in Action

2008-12-09T19:00:00.000-08:00

Todays dare to love has to do with acts of kindness. Since he wont be back until tomorrow I will have to wait to do this excersise. It is funny... I am a cubmaster for a large cubscout group and we are talking about this very thing and I challenged them all to a random act of kindness, but never once did I think to start with my husband. Life is interesting.

Text

2008-12-09T11:22:00.000-08:00

Received this text today from my husband.

Thank you for being the wife you are and making my trip fun. I miss u and I am thankful for you.

my response.
I am glad you are having fun .. I love you.

him:
Well, you are a big part of making it fun when you are supportive, thank you so much.

me:
I am sorry it has taken me 6 years to be supportive as I should. I love you.

Hum...

Day One

2008-12-08T19:15:00.000-08:00

Love is patient is the first love dare. At first, when I first read Day one, my thoughts went directly to what my husband has done to me to make me impatient with him.... I had to re-read the words a second time -- and they stung. I reflected on all the times I am possitive I started the fights with my impatience and quick temper. I love my husband deeply and this was a hard fact to face for me.

My husband is away on buisness and has been since last week, so this where I have focused my patience. My husbands "buisness meeting" is really a ski trip with the men who head up the company. A perk of the job for my husband. I seem to stay at home on these meetings. The book asks if anything happened today to cause anger towards my husband. And the answer is yes. Today I had to take my son to the doctor for a check up from when he had viral encephalitis over the summer. I called him to discuss the treatment the doctor suggested. I felt that he didnt want to be part of this treatment and blew it off as though I needed to call his REAL dad. So, yes that upset me. I was tempted and did think disapproving thoughts, but I did not let it come out in words. Instead, I tried very hard to be patient and allowed him to talk things through. In the end, I saw his point of view by just being quiet and not allowing myself to be overcome by anger and hurt feelings. I have come to see through this excerise that I tend to jump to the defense quickly when it comes to issues with MY son. I need to realize that I just need to listen to my husband through to the end without jumping to conculsions. By not giving into anger and practicing patience, I learned why he made that comment. He meant that my son would do better with treatment if we could get his real dad involved. He never once said he wouldn't be involved.... in fact suggested a few people to call to get things started. I learned a big lesson today. I look forward to tomorrows dare.